Hamster Wheel
All of you know about burnout or at least how it feels. The result from running too long on the hamster wheel. Day in and day out with little rest, no recuperation and no joy! It gets to where a person is overwhelmed without meaning, purpose, being lonely, depressed, etc. It seems like all there is, is the endless hamster wheel. The wheel is no longer fun, exciting, or rewarding; unable to stop, no reason to go faster and if one could just lay down, it would be even more of a disaster… ugg.
Wellness
I’ve talked about living well as having a wellness routine. Specifically eating well, sleeping well, getting physical exercise, doing your passions, hanging out with friends and family that support you, having meaning and purpose, keeping yourself curious and learning new things. Also taking care of your spiritual needs however, you see fit. It is a daily and weekly and monthly wellness routine which is a highly protective factor in keeping, feeling and being healthy. Link to wellness.
The Bump
Occasionally, we hit a speed bump on the road. It throws us off our routine. The usual remedy is to get back to your routine as much as possible. Or with a bigger mess change up your routine to accommodate whatever it might be. Such as a broken leg and now you’re homebound for a few months. Adjust to a new routine yet also keep going, trying and learning new things. Maybe catch up on the pile of books in the corner you’ve been wanting to read, write some letters, etc. But keep up on the wellness routine the best you can, despite being slower.
One Door Closes, Another Opens
Sometimes a speed bump is not a speed bump. Sometimes the speed bump is a door closing or a chapter in life ending. Then the task is to figure out which door to open. Door number one, door number two or door number three? It’s the task to figure out which door to choose. The options are door one, door two or door three? Or take what can be seen (the fourth option). It’s the game show ”The Price Is Right.” A chance to win cash and prizes! In a sense, this game show was an interesting look into psychological concepts of risk versus reward; decision-making processes with emotions (heart) versus logic (head) versus gut (intuition). And the effect of social or peer pressure from the cheering and jeering of the audience. When a person is exhausted from running on the hamster wheel. It is a similar situation to the game show but with the additional stressors of exhaustion and frustration. Which can seem like a matter of life and death. A crisis of existential meaning and purpose; what to do? One might slow down the hamster wheel, run faster, or perhaps spin faster, trip and fly off. Or perhaps take a conscious risk and jump off the damm wheel. Link to Decision Making.
Your Wits End… Resilience
Keeping your wits despite what happens is called resilience. What is resilience? Resilience is a mindset. Despite what happens, it’s not the end of the world. It’s a challenge. It’s the opportunity to figure out something else. Perhaps it’s a new puzzle. Something to do and learn. We can look at life as a series of new puzzles to figure out. Something to learn, a challenge to create a workaround. Even if our “workaround” does not work, at least we’ve learned something. Half of life is figuring out what you don’t want to do; which is valuable information. The other half of life is figuring out what you want to do. And then the third half (lol) is figuring out how to do that. This is the mindset of resilience. But resilience also takes a mental, emotional, and physical toughness. Which is the commitment to yourself and the ability to be responsibility for yourself.
Is the glass half empty or half full?
Let’s break this down and dig deeper. Resilience begins at taking an honest and straight-forward look at your situation. It is the process of assessment and evaluation to bring clarity and understanding of what has happened. If we don’t have an honest assessment, then whatever we do, may be based on faulty information and we may cause chasing our tails down a rabbit hole. In a sense it is a detox process of letting go of things that are not useful. The place to start is asking, what is this? What has happened and being truthful. To own it. Sometimes it’s a tough and bitter pill to swallow. But it is an investment to honestly assessment that has some breadth and depth and is the place to start. Having a review of what, why and how it happened brings clarity and leads us to the next step. It really doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full (it is the past). What matters more is what did you learn, what is it you don’t want to happen again? And what to do differently in the future. The point is you now have a direction. You know where or what you need AND want.
Awareness and Learning
The assessment and evaluation give us ways of how we can both avoid and improve. Not only how to deal with what happened. But also provides opportunities to learn, improve and more discoveries we would have never thought of. “This is where we become aware “I could’ve done something different.” But this is only the first and lesser conclusion. The second and better conclusion is, “this is what I learned and what I want AND need to do differently?” But the “gold” is recognizing it is an opportunity to create, enhance, and alignment with my meaning and purpose. It is the essential deep-dive or leap into yourself, of “who am I, what is my meeting and purpose and what do I want to do about it?” It’s not changing what happened nor what external things you can change. It recognizes that changing your interpretation of what happened and thus your response and in your alignment by changing yourself. Resilience is the ability to change yourself. It isn’t just about your meaning and purpose. But what do you love to do? How can I work my passions, my joy, my dreams into a response of something new something creative and life enhancing? Finding that seed that has germinated in the fertile soil that has been plowed (turned over) because of this “accident.” The accident is now providing the opportunity to learn and grow. It’s the higher-level puzzle of opportunity. This opportunity is not necessarily something easy, but some of the most challenging puzzles are the most rewarding, where you learn the most and is where life re-directs you. Most often it is only in retrospect, where time is the revelator; we come to understand the speed bump was truly a blessing.
More Magical Than Bullshit
Some people always seem to be lucky or blessed. They always seem to land on their feet. Seemingly to rise above what has happened to them. Resilience is not some magical thing that happens. It is a process that is magical. But it takes some work. It begins with a process of assessment and evaluation. It is the assessment of determining what happened: what, when, where, who, how and why. The evaluation is asking what could be done differently? It is learning. Next is clarifying our goal, a process of alignment and commitment to create what, when, where, who, how and why we aspire to be. The finishing piece is in the action, i.e., a new challenge, response, or creation to become and be. This is the same process of crisis debriefing. What went well, what didn’t go well, how can or what can we do differently next time? What did we learn and what can we do better? Nothing and no one is perfect. If we thought this, we would be grandiose and delusional. An underlying key piece is to be honest, have integrity, be graceful and commit to being better next time.
Being aware, understanding and experiencing resilience is invaluable; priceless. Whether you/we are using it as on a personal level, a relationship/parental/family level, or at a business or entrepreneurial level, this is how a person turns manure in to gold. It’s not some magical, alchemical mumbo-jumbo incantations. It’s straight forward honest work… it’s being more magical than the bullshit.
Resilience is not just some buzzword. It’s a process that can be taught and learned. When one understands the process of resilience, it mostly doesn’t matter what happens, because whatever happens is a lesson or an opportunity. When a resilient person sees a pile of horse crap, it’s not “oh crap.” It’s “where’s the unicorn?” Resilience is a mindset, a few questions, and some honest evaluation. There are no failures, except failing to learn and/or discover the opportunity. It’s the honest realization of “oh I may not want this, but it’s an opportunity. Thus, the adage “crisis and opportunity go hand in hand.” It presents a crucial point for change. The question is, “is there some gold in this pile of crap?”
As we are in challenging times, it’s valuable to know the pattern of resilience. It’s not just a word or concept; it’s a process. When one understands the process of what and how to assess and evaluate a crisis. And discover creative opportunities and solutions that align with your meaning and purpose. Specifically, to find joy, passion and realizing that it is the opportunity for you to stop doing the old crap and to step up, do, become, and be… more than you ever imagined.
The Hamster Wheel
Burn out is an assessment and conclusion. But it is in the framework of scarcity and references the past. Leading to feelings of loss, overwhelmed, and not knowing what to do. Burnout is the inability or failure to recognize you are sovereign. That you have a choice and can choose to respond differently. That one can choose to respond with resilience and abundance.
There is a psychological axiom. “What you resist persists.” If you don’t want to continue to run around the same old hamster wheel, you must first recognize that you are the hamster on the hamster wheel. The scary part is to acknowledge you are “that” hamster. “Whoa, how did this happen… who is the damm hamster making noise all night?” It takes integrity and honesty to assess and evaluate the hamster. “Be the hamster! (lol.) Decide what to do… hold on for dear life… your life, not the crap in your life. Know that, at some point, being exhausted results in falling off the wheel and crashing. Or perhaps you can figure out something like jumping or stepping off, i.e., be the resilient vermin.
The Secret Sauce
What is the secret sauce? There are three ingredients to the secret sauce. The first is the serenity prayer that is having the ability to distinguish what you can and cannot do. The ability to distinguish what you are responsible and capable of doing versus what if out of your control? The second part is that it is the opportunity to surrender… or “let go and let God.” One can die… or surrender and live. Death is not the only option. Surrendering is the option to let go of your old worn sense of ego/self and letting the divine become divine. The third part is the asking. Asking what? Asking that the door be opened; the door to a new you. But it still takes you choosing and walking through the door that opens. It might be challenging, take some effort and responsibility. Trusting/believing/knowing that it is divinely ordained. The trick is to know… to realize that the door which opens reveals a prize, even though it might not initially look like a prize… lol.
Realize that you are the prize… the divine… you sir/madame are a sweepstake winner. In these challenging times, resilience is perhaps the first, last and only best option. Resilience is living. You can either die or die trying. Or you can avoid the whole bloody mess by being strategically resilient… gladly doing life without parole.
Blessings,
Tim