A discussion about the lack of good men and women and how to find someone good for you. The inspiration and thanks for this week’s comes from Sophia Andreeva (https://sophisticatedmatchmaking.com/blog/)
For all ways of being, regardless of relationship preferences. When it happens, worlds collide and heavens are born. Yet are we in a time of metamorphosis? Have we wrapped ourselves in a cocoon? Can a person change from a worm that only crawls and eats to a butterfly that flies and sips on nectar?
Time of the Chrysalis
The “time of chrysalis” refers to a period of transformation or significant change, where someone is seemingly inactive or in a protected state, undergoing internal development before emerging into a new phase, much like a caterpillar inside a chrysalis before becoming a butterfly; essentially, a time of waiting, reflection, and transforms.
Chrysalis time:
Inner change:
During this period, significant internal changes are happening even though it may appear outwardly muted or stagnant.
Protection and privacy:
Like a chrysalis, this time may involve a need for solitude and space to facilitate the transformation.
Uncertainty and discomfort:
It can be a period of questioning, doubt, and discomfort as the old self dissolves to make way for the new.
Positive outcome:
The result of “chrysalis time” is typically seen as an emergence into a new, more developed state of being. (AI assisted).
Relationships, Relating and Being
It is interesting that relationships (or the lack of) are a hot topic. There are tons of posting about a good man or woman is hard to find. There is an epidemic of disconnection resulting in loneliness, depression, anxiety and fear. Also, an increasing rate of collapse of relationships, divorce, broken families, and community. Is it the unaffordability of the cost of living, has population reached the global sustainability capacity? Relationships have been an age-old challenge, conundrum and daunting task; with endless lyrical tales of romance, heartache, and heartbreak. So, the journey and task are the same, only the pronouns, labels and identifiers are changed along with a slight twist.
Twisting of Being… Wiggling?
What is the slight twist? Are we seeing the dropping of labels and identifiers that separate? Perhaps wiggling out of the worn-out shells of separation. Is this part of the transition from the individual fearing becoming lost in “the conformity of unity?” Or perhaps the dawning of the appreciation and respect of individual sovereignty within of unity? What happens when sovereignty collides with unity? Do we get diversity and inclusion in a pot? Different, disparate, divergent and various wide range of identities.
Stew Pot
Just like in a stew pot, we can still taste and identify an onion versus a potato, carrot or piece of meat. Perhaps we give up a bit of ego. Yet not lose our identity or sovereignty. We gain deliciousness experience in the combination of the ingredients; a stew of inclusion, encompassing and unity… simmering over the fire of transformation. Fire is the catalyst that transforms the ingredients into a divine or wicked… or divinely wicked or wickedly divine… stew in the pot (container) of reality… whatever that is … as one cackles in excitement about what might happen. However, it is still the eater of the stew that determines their experience of the stew. And by-the-way said eater can create a different stew if they so choose.
Women…
Good Men Aren’t Hard to Find, They’re Hard to Entice
There’s a common misconception floating around that good men are scarce, elusive creatures who’ve vanished. But here’s the truth: good men aren’t hard to find. They’re just not easily captivated by the surface-level charms many focus on showcasing.
A man of substance doesn’t base his choice on fleeting attractions. He’s looking for depth, for character, for someone who aligns with his values and vision. If you’ve been struggling to attract the attention of a genuinely good man, perhaps it’s time to shift your strategy.
The Secret to Winning Over a Good Man:
A good man doesn’t need you to change who you are; he needs you to be who you are—authentically, unapologetically, audaciously and with integrity.
He’s not looking for perfection but someone who complements his own journey, someone with shared values and goals. He notices the quiet strength behind your actions, the way you speak to others, and how you carry yourself through life’s ups and downs.
So, if you’re aiming for a meaningful connection, focus less on fleeting external traits and more on cultivating the qualities that define your inner self. Let your actions, intellect, and values speak louder than your clothes or social media.
Be more strategic than beautiful. Because when a good man finally notices you, he’ll cherish every aspect of who you are—inside and out.
Men…
Good Women Aren’t Hard to Find, They’re Hard to Entice.
There’s a common misconception floating around that good women are scarce, elusive creatures who are of rarified air. But here’s the truth: good women aren’t hard to find. They’re just not easily captivated by the surface-level enticements many focus on showcasing.
A woman of substance doesn’t base her choice on fleeting attractions. She’s looking for depth, for character, for someone who aligns with her values and vision. If you’ve been struggling to attract the attention of a genuinely good woman, perhaps it’s time to shift your strategy.
The Secret to Winning Over a Good Woman:
A good woman doesn’t need you to change who you are; she needs you to be who you are—authentically, unapologetically, audaciously, and with integrity, compassion and grace.
She’s not looking for perfection but for someone who complements her own journey. Someone that she can share her values and goals and world with. She notices the quiet strength behind your actions, the way you speak to others, and how you carry yourself through life’s ups and downs.
So, if you’re aiming for a meaningful connection, focus less on fleeting external traits. Instead, cultivate the qualities that define your inner self or being. Let your actions, intellect, values and heart speak louder than your clothes or social media.
Be more strategic than physical. Because when a good woman finally notices you, she’ll cherish every aspect of who you are, inside and out.
Beings…
Brief side note: the word “being” can be used as gerund (a verb acting as a noun), as a verb, adverb or adjective, depending on the context of the sentence. In a sense, grammatically “being” is multidimensional.
Good Beings Aren’t Hard to Find, They’re Hard to Entice
There’s a common misconception floating around that good beings are scarce, elusive creatures who are of another world. But here’s the truth: good beings aren’t hard to find. They’re just not easily captivated by the worldly enticements of drama and trauma.
A being of substance is looking for depth of character. For someone who aligns with their being in meaning and purpose, creating their existence. If you’ve been struggling to attract the attention of a genuinely good being, perhaps it’s time to shift your strategy.
What Doesn’t Work:
Rituals, crystals, spiritual knowledge and other accoutrements: Yes, this may draw many, but a good being has the sense, a knowingness and connects beyond the world of appearances.
They wonder beyond social media. Seeking the deeper connection and sharing of being. Beyond spiritual materialism, manifestation, and energetic parlor tricks. Enlightenment in-a-day doesn’t impress someone grounded in their being.
What Does Work:
1. A good being pays attention to openness, integrity, and authenticity of being. Beings with open minds, compassionate hearts and grace that leaves a lasting impression.
2. Grace Over Brains: Intelligence isn’t about degrees or vocabulary. It’s about curiosity, wisdom, and an awareness of the responsibility of meaningful interactions which stimulates, catalyzes and the changes their mind, heart, and being. They rejoice in newfound being and experiences.
3. Values Over Vanity: A being of substance recognizes another because they have been there, done that, and understand the struggles and challenges of the path of being. They admire clear values, purpose and being. Beings love growth, faith, and dedication to something greater than what can be seen.
4. Consistency Over Chaos: Equanimity is a magnet for a good being. They’re looking for someone who can handle life’s challenges with grace, not someone who constantly invites unnecessary turmoil.
5. Confidence Over Conformity: Be unapologetically yourself. A good being respects those who know their worth and have courage to be audacious, when necessary, yet maintain their steadfast equanimity of their sovereignty.
The Secret to Winning Over a Good Being:
A good being doesn’t need you to change who you are; they need you to be who you are: authentically, unapologetically, audaciously, and with integrity, compassion and grace. They are not looking for perfection but someone who they might share their journey with. Knowing that it takes quiet strength of your actions, the way you speak to others and how you carry yourself through life’s ups and downs.
So, if you’re aiming for a meaningful connection; focus and cultivate the qualities that define your inner self. Who you are, letting your actions, intellect, values and heart be louder than your clothes or social media.
Be radiant… shine, be compassionate instead of being disappointed and inpatient. Be graceful with all beings. And be divinely sovereign with integrity with whom you are. When another good being notices you, they will cherish every aspect of who you are inside and out because you are the divine, shining, reflecting and experiencing divinity.
The twist of being, is being your good, bad, and ugly being. While knowing you are in possession of these experiences. They do not define you and that you exist beyond them.
Like a caterpillar, a change of being is the change within. And with this inner transformation, a butterfly emerges, able to fly and sip on nectar.
Blessing,
Tim