A discussion of wounds, healing and resilience during times of crisis.
Wounds can be our deepest pain and fear, yet maybe the source of our greatest strengths. Wounds provide an opportunity to let the light in. But wounds have two faces: a light face and a dark face. Wounds can be the source of shadow and darkness or a source of courage and light. The difference is being aware of and recognizing that it is an opportunity.
An Opportunity of What?
Often, we cover and bandage a wound. Hoping it will go away and heal with little attention. However, constantly being aware of the pain, awareness is the first key. We might protect and hide the wound. Other times we might wear the wound as a badge of surviving the crap. Perhaps we identify with the wound, and it defines and identifies our lot in life. We might learn to use the wound to get our needs met (poor-me). It becomes a part of our relationships, seeking someone who recognizes, cares, bandages, and takes part in our wounded experience. A few folks may demand that someone else acknowledge and care for their wounds… thus validating their wounded existence.
The Wound is the Opportunity
None the less, failing to recognize the wound is a missed opportunity for us to discover and learn how to heal ourselves. In our relationships, our wounds may feel like the other person is picking at our wound or scab and this irritates the heck out of us.
At some point the question of why in hell this is happening, is the beginning of the light coming in (awareness.) Irritation begs our awareness. At first, we usually think OMG this is happening to me (victim and pain).
Yet if we move on to the idea that this is happening for me (opportunity to heal). We wonder, why is this happening? If we have the courage to dive deep, we recognize the wound is an opportunity for healing. Asking the questions of when, where, why, and how the hell the wounding is happening. Later, knowing it is happening for me and through me. It becomes an opportunity to act with sovereignty and realize our responsibility to transform and heal ourselves. Happening for and through me is the process of change and transformation. This is where the light shines. Through the process of shining, change and transformation happens. Retrospectively the initial realization is the wound was the opportunity to let the light in.
Understand that healing occurs from the inside… out. Initially, there is a brief period of needing to cover and bandage the wound for protection. After the initial scabbing, expose it to light to toughen it into a resilient scar. By the grace of God, it was far from my heart. I didn’t die… still here and doing okay. Not dead yet… but perhaps 70% from feeling 100%.
The Feast of the Maggots
Often, we view our various significant relationships, e.g., parents, spouses, co-workers, etc. — loving them and yet they irritate us. Perhaps we see them as pickers, irritators or agitators of our experience. We may feel like they are out to hurt us. Yet what if these maggots provide the service of keeping our wound clean, preventing more serious infection? Maggots debride wounds or they only eat the dead stuff. Of course, this feels darn irritating and intolerable.
How does a maggot eat only the dead stuff? By the act of asking the essential question. “Is this really needed?” Which is an act of compassionate action… asking us is this really me and what I want? Or is there something better? Therefore, it is the process of getting rid of what you don’t need or what is dead. Simply it’s learning to focus or attend and to choose wisely!
When we realize healing happens from the inside out. We recognize the great and compassionate service that the maggots have provided. What? The maggots have kept our wound open and cleaned… so the light can come in.
Where the Light Comes In
The light is our insight and decision to heal our wounds. Thus, beginning to heal ourselves. We take responsibility, doing things for ourselves from the inside out. We learn to recognize the light that enters our wounds. Perhaps later to generate light and become a healer. However, in the case, a wounded person may feel that we are picking and irritating them. This is because they are noticing their pain and responsibility. All we are doing is showing that light is possible… by picking away at the dead stuff.
Wounding and Resilience
Healing our wounds teaches us resilience. Learning how to take care of ourselves develops our mental and emotional toughness. It is a process like scarring. Yet after some time we learn to let go, soften, and grow new skin under the scar tissue. The scar fades, and the new skin of compassion and grace subtly replaces it. In the overall process, we gain an awareness of prevention, i.e., taking care of our health, being mindful of our actions is far better than getting wounded. Despite that, we also appreciate difficulties, because they help us become more aware and mindful, which leads to revitalization and growth.
Crap Happens and the Responsibility Thereof
Crap is the school of hard knocks and tough love. When crap happens, it is an opportunity to discover and take responsibility. As a kid growing up in very small rural villages. Largely being left to my own devices; it was the opportunity both to discover freedom and the other side of the coin… responsibility. If I scraped, cut, or banged myself up doing whatever. I was also the one who took care of it. I was learning to take care of myself. It was also the opportunity to discover sovereignty, responsibility, and how to change crap into gold, i.e., to learn from failure or crap is the making of fertilizer. My fatherly advice to my kids was: “It’s far from your heart. You’re not gonna die today… just lie there for a few moments. Yes, it hurts. Take a few deep breaths and when you’re ready, let’s get it taken care of.” These are opportunities to teach them the skills of how to deal with crap when it happens. It is fatherly advice that builds and expands their capacity for toughness, responsibility, and resiliency to live life.
However, the maternal (motherly) side or influence comes first. An infant or small child who feels and experiences safety and is nurtured establishes a core sense of self that they are worthy of existence. And the paternal (fatherly) side comes when they know they want but needs guidance in how to do it themselves… to fly, learn, and experience life on their own terms. I.e., to expand their experience beyond the known, leaving the comfort and containment of the nest… to explore, discover, and experience the unknown. Both parental sides of guidance is essential.
Anyway, at some point a person recognizes they are ultimately responsible for and are sovereign in healing themselves. There are medical staff, counselors, and consultants to help you… but they can’t do it for you… because it comes from within you.
Sidenote:
Wounding can result from “the sins” of commission (action taken) or omission (the lack of action taken). Wounding can also be a matter of not having the nurturing, protective, and guidance to build perspective and skills. Which is not being allowed to experience nor being taught how to deal with the experience. Thus, being left to one’s own devices, a person may stumble along, not knowing what to do. It is a type of schooling via wandering (wondering). A school of hard knocks, which is direct, severe, yet can be a quick and an effective way to learn. The secret is to know that crap and failure are golden nuggets of opportunities to learn via direct experience. Remember that pain is an opportunity for ignorance to leave your body.
Addendum:
This post serves the individual. This can also apply to our current planetary state of consciousness and change. In a sense, we are experiencing a huge gaping wound. Regardless of the planetary dimension is just a “matter of scale”… but it begins within you.
Change begins psychologically with awareness (pain or pleasure). Which, with a wound is often experienced as pain, chaos, and confusion. The second level of response is to question who, what, when, where, why and how. This is simply an analysis to determine an appropriate response. Yet one must consider the basis or perspective. From, what perspective or viewpoint does the analysis make its presumptions and assumptions?
Pain, chaos, and confusion lead to messy, unplanned actions focused on stopping the negative feelings. Finding opportunities requires the equanimity (composure) to develop a plan (strategy) and taking steps (tactics) to achieve your objectives. Opportunity involves complex processes like analyzing, combining, connecting, judging, applying, and doing. Which is difficult to do while in states of pain, chaos and confusion.
Become aware through peaceful or mindful thought and connecting via your heart.
Blessings
Tim