Unless you face your own darkness, you will continue to see it in others because the world outside of you is only a reflection of the world inside of you.
Darkness and shadows are merrily lessons that motivate or drive us toward expansion, light, and love. It is one’s choice what the lessons might be and whether or not to learn. One might consider darkness and shadows to be fortunes and gifts from the wrathful deities.
Fearsome apparitions, crumble and disappear in the light. The issue is learning to face them. In facing them, we feel them in our depths. Eventually recognizing they are only our fear and delusions. Realizing this, we heal ourselves. No longer in fear and delusion we are joyful and filled with gratitude. Free from our self-built dark cages.
There are two lessor ways to release. One is by letting go, by saying good rid dens. And the other way is to withdraw your attention; or to focus on something different. These can work, but the tendency is not to believe, it is so easy… thus unbelievable. Often something happens and we either get pulled back (triggered) into the drama and trauma. Or by focusing on something else, it becomes a distraction or avoidance and we have not truly and deeply “released” and thus haunts us.
The greater, more assured, direct, and difficult way is to go deeply into the fear, pain and suffering. By feeling deeply, we are forced to deeply deal with “it.” And in the depths there is the opportunity to heal. Deep healing is releasing deep attachments. The attachments that are perhaps multi-generational, mis-coded DNA (untangling the mis-coded responses). It involves going beyond the ego, the sub-conscious programs to your being. You heal what you feel (or not). When you feel, you can deal and you can heal. But in resisting (or avoidance) of fear and (judgement) darkness, the fear, pain and suffering persists. By acknowledging the feeling, going into the surrendering (dealing with) allows the opportunity to understand the inherent value, meaning and purpose of fear, pain and suffering. Understanding this, it becomes easy to release the feelings and be healed. Healing is not about doing more but doing less… by focusing on the wrathful deities, understanding them, making they an ally. It is actually not releasing the terrifying ones but realizing that they are actually the peaceful ones who are the protectors, teachers, and liberators to hold dear. Thus, you can realize the value of the old crap… turning lead into gold. But it is a golden light that fills your wings to fly. Releasing your old self to fly, no longer burdened. Feeling blessed and eventually blessing the opportunities of challenge and change.
Resisting
However, if you have not gone through this experience, nor been instructed or developed the skills for going in and through the pain, suffering and release. It can be an overwhelming prospect and scary AF. Though being on the other side, a person looks back and notes, why did I not do this sooner… and are deeply grateful for doing so.
Three Minds
Being of three minds. Last week’s post about empathy, https://lovechangegrow.com/love-is-the-empathic-connection. I briefly noted being a witness to the client and a witness to yourself (two minds). And you can also observe yourself experiencing yourself (third mind). It’s the part that splits off and observes (witnesses) the experience of you experiencing your life. The three minds are arbitrary levels of witnessing. Most of the time we are not paying attention to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Essentially, we are running on our subconscious “reactive” auto-piolet programing or habits. Yet there is a range or spectrum of awareness, attending to our thoughts, feelings and behaviors from just barely noticing to full-on meditative mindfulness that observes and contemplates the how, what, when, where and why of our thoughts, feelings and behaviors. And the higher ordered observer or witness that observes the observing and contemplation of our thoughts, feelings, behaviors. Which is noted as the transpersonal or beyond the ego witness. Notes “it is what it is” or the “direct knowing” without the usual cultural, religious, philosophical, psychological, linguistic and even without the physiological sensory filters and interpretations. How is this possible? It is easily done in an intentional dissociated or meditative state. For example: In an induced deep hypnotic state, a person can suspend the usual/normal sense, interpretation and awareness of time, place, pain, identity, being, etc.
Of course, again there is a range of hypnotic states from the mild diversion, such as attention to focus on sports performance enhancement, to the deeper imaginal (for self-healing ala Joe Dispenza, Lynn McTaggart, et al.) and into the enlightenment traditions with the host of preparatory meditative paraphernalia and practices such as the infinite techniques of yoga, deity worship, Zen and countless other approaches.
Abnormal, Normal and Beyond Normal Dissociative States
Abnormal, i.e., pathological psychology is the reduced, interrupted or disconnection with consensual reality. Which could be induced, triggered or a condition. Such as drug intoxication or a physical condition of sepsis, UTI, or advanced Alzheimer’s, a dissociated episode of PTSD, or a disorganized hebephrenic or psychotic state of schizophrenia.
The normal dissociated state is where your attention is placed elsewhere such as being absorbed thoughts about work and suddenly you arrive at work. And the normal 20-minute drive, you don’t particularly recall all the cognitive processes of safely driving to work; yet you have arrived.
The “beyond normal” dissociative experience. Could range from being “in flow,” accessing intuitive, synchronistic and psychic (beyond logic and egoic paradigms of reality), to being “enraptured.” Well, is this pathological psychosis or a “beyond dissociative experience” induced by plant medicine, holotropic breathing, flotation tank environment or some meditative technique? The pathological mental health perspective involves experiencing a loss of connection between thoughts, memories, feelings, surroundings, behavior and identity. And noted as depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity confusion or identity alteration. The difference between abnormal and normal is whether it’s intentional, controllable, and with conscious purpose (or not). One involves a loss of connection with consensual reality. The other involves going beyond the consensual notions of reality. A catatonic state/presentation of schizophrenia at the surface can look much like a divine enraptured state. (See Wilber’s pre/trans fallacy https://integrallife.com/pre-trans-fallacy/)
For example: A mere 50 years ago, a person channeling could have easily been thought to be in a schizophrenic state. And now, channeling is a celebrated, easily taught and the notions of “depersonalization, derealization, amnesia, identity confusion or identity alteration” are now characterized as types, forms and conditions of channeling.
Bias (the history)
Current state reflects history and is the reflection of future possibilities. What in the hell are you talking about Timmy?
Biases: Historically in psychology, the bias tends to be pathological. In metaphysics, phenomena hide in symbolism and esoteric interpretation. Patriarchal religions are a divine right of an organized saving of the beast and sinner. While the matriarchal aspect focuses on the communal unfoldment of what is and esoterically the dark aspect of the divine. Current spirituality is a secular hodgepodge that focus on the individual journey (path). No longer is it an enfolding or unfolding of experience. But both with the notation of a residual dissociative experience. Failing to appreciate Wilber’s “pre/trans fallacy.” Are we emerging from the soup or enfolding into the soup of the divine? And only recently, we have some come to the insight that we are both the soup and the reflection of the divine soup of being. Thus, the challenge/issue is the ability to accept, integrate and be the soup that you are. And tasting the soup (experience), and the observer of experience of being and tasting the soup. That is being creator of the soup, the devourer of the soup and the witness of the entire grand spectacle.
Of course, the wondering (questioning) how is this all possible. Which is a matter of awareness, consciousness and the ability to recognize the fractal patterns of unfolding, enfolding and to track the myriads of aspects and artifacts of our experience thrown throughout the multitudes of heavens and hells as diamonds (both undiscovered and the multi-faceted cut diamonds).
For example, are we a butterfly dreaming that we are a human or a human dreaming that we are a butterfly? It does not matter whether we are the butterfly or the human. What matters is the recognition that we are dreaming! Most the time we mistakenly think “we” are the experience. But our life is an experience of an apparition or ghostly experience, with very little substance. We believe we are the ego, but most of the time we are not paying attention to the ego. But to what is happening externally of the ego. We are reacting to the experience, and in this reaction is where the ego exists. The ego gets sucked in to the drama and traumas of life. It becomes fearful and distracted via our patterned (programed) thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Observing and examination of these patterns we can gain insight and can see how we can experience more, interact with life and dissociate (regressed or constriction into a self-absorbed isolative experience) or evolve to be a transpersonal witness (integrative and expansive experience). We also do this in our dreams. We can observe ourselves in our dreams (a dissociated observation) that we experience. Dreaming or awake we observe essentially the same thing. An illusionary experience of reality. However, the ego is afraid of its own death and the experience of going beyond the ego is when we notice and can develop the idea of having several minds. And having the witness mind, i.e., being mindful and in the state of equanimity is innate and the nature of being a witness of one’s experience.
It is a natural (innate) ability or condition that is seldom noticed, let alone examined. It’s relatively easy to do. And we do this all the time. But we don’t recognize it. We don’t give credence to it because the ego is our dominant mode of operation. But it does not have to be. The claim is that an eye cannot see itself, a knife cannot cut itself, etc. But these ideas are the product of the self-imposed bias of the logical physical mind. Whereas, with a slight change of perspective which holds or is founded on a different presumption and it all changes. Confusing, disorienting… well yes, it is! Yet this is simple. It all depends on you, what is your presumption of existence? Which further goes to the question of “what am I?” You are the creator, protector, destroyer, and liberator. And subsequently “who am I?” You are the “I Am!” This is not rocket science or some mystical alchemy. But being the creator, protector, destroyer and liberator takes a bit of wits, i.e., consciousness or situational awareness.
I first really realized the witness experience back in my first flotation tank experience. It was very easy to lose your awareness of your body. And just float into space. In this dissociative state of the witness. A person has two minds. One as the experience and the other is the witness of the experience. And now, 45 years later after this novel experience. It is very natural to experience levels of existence; mostly serially and simultaneously (or in parallel) and as a collapsed singular state of being. Just to note the relevance or relationship between them (integrated or dissociated is about connection and relationship).
It is interesting that NDEs (near-death experiences) and the associated channeled revelations are the “hot topic.” Is channeling the new boutique ability? Which in a sense is just accessing other parts or existences of one’s “larger” self. Whether via channeling, hypnosis, NDEs, flotation tanks, shamanistic, psychedelic, yogic trance experiences etc. are mirror experiences of other dimensions of ourselves. Just to note, this can be the hellish and/or heavenly realms. The cool thing is that this veil is thinned or lifted, and a person no longer needs to die or go through an NDE. But the ego, i.e., one sense of a “stable self-identity needs to expand. Thus, often experienced as an ego death. Not saying that the physical body does not die (it certainly does). But no-longer does a person have to die in order to access the expanded states of consciousness. Now “ego death” is the new travel opportunity instead of the one-way train of physical death. Now ego death is the mirror experience of death. Thus, the statement, “if you die before you die, you cheat death of its sting.” And instead of the death of the ego; or in the splitting off the ego, we readily identify we are more or beyond the normal everyday existence. The issue with drama and trauma is that we have trouble with intentional dissociation in service of both ego death and the subsequent “integration” that we are more than just our drama and trauma via the ability to be a witness which is “beyond the ego.” In meditation and hypnosis, we are learning to establish a stable/dynamic being of existence. Both internally and externally to mindfully interact. Splitting off (dissociating) beyond the ego and being a witness opens up the access to other dimensions of a larger and multi-dimensional sense. In a sense it is the next level of situational awareness that encompasses and yet beyond the “what, when, where, how and why. It is at an intuitive level of analysis, synthesis, innovation, integration and execution. It is the capacity to work within, without and all about the existence of whatever. This is beyond the ego reactivity of everyday existence or life. It is the ability to mindfully (and without mind) respond to all that exists (internally, externally and interactively). This is nothing unusual, we see folks capable of this every day. They are knowledgeable, skilled, and most importantly “seasoned” with many years of varied experience. These experts are what we note as the Yoda’s of the discipline; be it plumbers, pilots, teachers, mechanics, gardeners, etc.
Integration
Perhaps it is the integration of these minds into being and existing at/in the next level of authentic, having integrity and the ability to flow. That there is no difference or distinction between internal, external and interactively “being.” A way of being with the myriads of life. The ego is just a software program or tool of logic, cognitive processing, and interactive/relational sense of oneself from an infinite number of aspects of yourself. It is the ability to integrate different aspects of our self that is appropriate for the existence at hand (the now). This is an internal state of being, for example, we like the think that we are consistent in our relationships with others and in that relationship, we have a consistent, integrated sense of self. But the integration is “resting in the moment of action and acting in the moment of rest.” We can consciously/mindfully negotiate life integrally. Of course, sometimes we get attached to something and in our attachments, we are challenged by our angry, fear, expectations, presumptions, etc. The integration are merely moments of experience in which to note “oh yeah, aha” and be grateful that you noticed. When you are witnessing an experience, i.e., being present this is the integration. Yet often we notice we were distracted, asleep, consumed with something else and we miss the moment of integration. We mistakenly grasp to remember or catch the experience. And we fail to open up, surrender and disappear in to the gnostic moment; the integration and birth of the mystic being.
The way to do that is to experience. To go into an experience with minding and realize that one is the experience, and one is the observer. We realize we can have two minds which is the opportunity to become an integrated a sense of self, i.e., the inner and outer self is aligned, feels authentic, and presents with integrity.
So now we have a third sense of self; being of three minds. So now you have the witness, the experience, and the inner integrated sense of self. Now we have made the shift from a sense of past, present, and future. To the sense of, the self, the other, and the witness or experienced of all three, i.e., the self, the witness, and the integrated being. Reaching this experience of three minds, We are (I AM), that encompasses the “I was,” I am, and “will be.” With the three minds, we have a much better understanding of our realities, i.e., who we are, our meaning and purpose and the navigation there of.
Now, we are deep in the rabbit hole. We are the creators of the rabbit hole, the experiences in the rabbit hole and the witness of the rabbit hole. When we do this, we are already all that we need. We recognize the past as a memory that changed (re-interpreted). Or in our imaginations of the future is merely what we visualize. Whether in our memories or our imaginations we are in a dissociative state. Are we are stuck and recreating or cycling our imaginary experience, is it fantasy? It is not an integrative state of being because we’re just playing in our mind, in our past being traumatized and/or grasping for the future. In this we cannot recognize integrated (integral) reality of the now or ever present.
Being is the direct connection of and to being. Being is NOW! What the hell… Timmy? Ok you do not have to worry about the past nor future. Just enter or be present… NOW! For example: A meditative or visualization technique is to either stare into the flame of a candle, or imagine it in your mind’s eye. Hold the flame as it consumes you (your consciousness). There is nothing but the flame. You and the flame are the same, there is no distinction between you and the flame. You and the light, heat and burning are the same. You are the light and heat, burning with the mystical, gnostic being. There is nothing else but the flame shining light. All else disappears, burns away or is liberated. This is a basic format of a technique that can be easily applied to whatever happens or what you are. There is no longer need or want because all is already provided. Of course, the issue is to choose wisely the application thereof… you might be surprised of the results… lol.
States of Being
Posted elsewhere, time, space and experience are malleable. The now is the opportunity to manifest ourselves by being yourself. Whatever you want, BE! This integration or conception leads to the ever-emerging experience of the birth and experience of being.
In the states of being, realize we are the creators of our reality. In psychology is known that we are setting down neuropathic structures. Of course, in memory and imagination we think it to be of the past and imagination as the future. But collapsing into the present-tense, the singularity of now, opens multi-dimensional reality and your being as highly malleable. The foundation is being conscious. With consciousness of the “now” one realizes there are an infinity of opportunities. Thus, a person can choose, decide, and receive or be open to the manifestation. Just note that whatever manifests happens for you. And not to you. If you feel/think it is happening to you, well you chose it and the perspective that it is happening to you. The point is, with a bit of consciousness, we can directly enter other dimensions and access a multihued rainbow of ourselves.
Psychology is mostly an examination of experience, whether the past or future. But “now” is the part of our self that determines reality. And doing so the potential of enhance athletic performance, or something like quantum jumping which has become popular. We can imagine that we are standing at the free-throw line hitting or making baskets 30 out of 30 times. We can rehearse (just mentally, or actual, yet a disciplined combination is best) a new dance routine, speech or musical performance. And doing so, we are accessing unique part of ourselves and bring it into our integrated reality. Thus, performance at an enhanced level or not. Or we continue to re-create the old cage that we have constructed for ourselves.
Dharma
Some folks have noted that we are moving from the paradigm of karma into dharma, the practice of existence. Which is instead of reacting or being reactive, we are becoming responsive and respond with mindfulness. This is the dharmic path or practice. A right way of living and a path of rightness (being). Described as the eternal truth. It is the only truth. We can only be, nothing else is possible… unless we want it to be something else… perhaps an illusion or delusion. We are creators of our reality(s). Is this an experience of being divine creating our reality, being our reality, and witnessing our reality?
What, worried about squeezing the life out of death. Don’t worry, you can reincarnate and squeeze some more, LOL.
For the most part, we have been taught not to feel, not to affectively express for fear of embarrassment or ridicule. However we are realizing that not feeling or suppression of feelings does not allow access to the opportunities to heal. So here we sit, learning to deal with our feelings so that we are able to heal. Feeling, dealing and healing is a pattern. Each one of us gets to choose what and at what level to deal with our feelings. Perhaps this is also what is happening at the family, cultural and planetary levels. Sometimes we forget that feelings are merely at an energetic level. Which is different than at the behavioral level. It’s ok to feel (e.g., express anger), but acts (angry behaviors) is a different can of worms. Feelings potentially provide an avenue and opportunity to transform, transmute and transcend energy when we can offer and provide a sacred empathic space to heal. Remember that much of the fine arts is the expression of feelings… whether it be the good, the bad or the ugly.
That’s it for this week’s feeling around in the weeds.
Blessings,
Tim