A discussion of teaching your children well.
Last week’s discussion was the founding question of “who am?” This week is a discussion of our children. What shall we teach them? What considerations need to be made for children who may not yet have the capacity to ask themselves who they are? That is at a deep, introspective level. Some may have inherent direction and talent. Yet may need some help to grow into their talent. It is the idea of the “acorn theory.” Which inside an acorn, it has what it needs to grow into an oak tree. But needs a supportive environment that encourages growth. Thus, goes to the idea of education as “see one, do one, teach one and be one.” Or simply as a process of inspiration, growth, knowledge and being.
It may be useful to review the “Parenting” series, specifically parenting posts 1-5 and education post 1-3. (https://lovechangegrow.com/kids-and-education/). The main parts are the “acorn theory,” curiosity, agency, and helping them to learn how to learn. I.e., via pattern recognition and providing structuring that supports learning.
Why…
The reasons for this post are several. First is the idea that children are both our future and legacy. Perhaps children are the best return on investment for our time, money, and energy. Meaning we have about the first 10 years of intense investment where the lion’s share of the work (investment) happens. Subsequently, as a child begins their adventure of who they will become; are where the compounded returns on investment are enjoyed.
Second, children are bright, curious, soak up experiences and learn very quickly. If we are aware of these opportunities, we can easily help them, ourselves and our future. With a background in psychology and communications, reflecting on my wayward youth, and a career of seeing the devastation and deprivation of parenting; helped me immensely in parenting my three kids. This is not rocket science, but being aware of the developmental tasks, a bit of “learning theory” and having a strategy makes it a lot easier.
Third, currently our future seems to be in a bit of chaos. If kids are our future legacy, how do we help them, which in return will also help us? The secret is not to focus on the external, but on the internal. Or its not what happens externally, but it is about a person’s internal capacity and skills to respond to what happens. Which is to teach, encourage and expose children to be internally resourceful, competent, resilient, and confident.
Last, children are being born having much more going on than what the old “blank slate, ignorant beast or tabula rasa” concept that requires everything must be taught. (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tabula_rasa) Perhaps we are re-discovering the “Acorn Theory,” a seed everyone has within of who they are and the potential of who they might be. Then it’s a matter of having conditions that encourage and allow them to grow into themselves.
Favorable conditions?
What are the conditions that help a child grow? They need fertile ground, sunshine, and water. A bit of protection and some structure. And a bit of shit in the form of manure, that given a bit of time, can be an opportunity of golden fertilizer. Basically, the conditions that nurture, encourage, and allow for curiosity and agency, i.e., the ability to discover and do this themselves. The parental role is like being the gardener, recognizing the inherent talents and skills of the child and then providing the environment in which the seed germinates, sends down roots, and eventually blossoms. Notice this is not about growing for them (which we cannot do for them), but supporting their growth via structure, fertilizer and watering… with a bit of protection until they can do it themselves.
Who are we as parents/gardeners and what do we need to do?
The basics are to encourage a sense of curiosity, agency, teaching them how to learn, so that they can learn for themselves. Teaching the primary questions of what, when, where why and how. The secondary questions of “so what,” i.e., utility and pragmatics. Which is analysis, synthesis, innovation, integration and execution. These are the underlying concepts of adaptation. And adaptation is the ability to learn, change and grow, i.e., how to respond (adapt) in a competent and resilient manner to whatever happens. This is the basis of being able to think, feel, behave and grow (or emerge) to be whoever they are, i.e., an acorn growing into an oak tree.
To Be Or Not To Be?
To be, requires asking of “who am I?” This is not a simple question. And it takes some capacity and ability. Specifically, the capacity of introspection or self-reflection. Usually, this capacity begins in the mid-teen years and at best does not fully develop until the mid-twenties. It is called the brain’s frontal lobe executive functioning. That is the ability to plan, organize, recognize various options, the associated consequences, execute a plan and innovate or adapt as the plan unfolds. A child and teen cannot do this. But they can dream and imagine, i.e., have magical thinking. The issue a parent sees is the wish and desire, yet the inability to expect, recognize and execute their dream to make it reality. This is the basic logistical building block process.
Where the Magic Happens
Execution is where the magic happens. Rarely is anyone ever told about the finer points of execution. The finer points of execution are learned from the parents and later by mentors. Or later in life via mentors, teachers, and the observation of life. Whether exposed to psychological, philosophical, religious, meditative and/or spiritual traditions and practices. Execution is a matter of “being.” Being… what? In life, we are occasionally a recipient of or a witness to extraordinary events, i.e., the magic. Magic is surprising and notable; it grabs our attention. Once we experience an extraordinary event, we notice it occurring more frequently. This is simply pattern recognition but on a different scale.
What are these extraordinary events? The fleeting, almost imperceptible moments are not noticed unless you have experience. They are interactions of sovereignty, integrity, compassion, grace and love. How can you tell? The tell (sign) are your feelings, evidenced by your smile… “nothin’ left to do but smile, smile, smile.” A smile, a little jump of joy in your heart or on the glow off your face… where it used to be. They are the magical acts of kindness, compassion and grace that makes one’s, or another’s day. Ok, so what Timmy?
Teach Your Children, (Graham Nash, 1967)
The so what is that we teach our children? The questions are, what are we teaching our children and how are we teaching it? There are children being born (as there have always been) who are quite extraordinary. They are born with knowledge and experience, at an early age able to play music, do art, poets and academics at a phenomenal level. Far beyond what it would take a normal beastly person to do in a single lifetime to accomplish.
What does this show, is there something going on which is beyond our current rational understanding of the human condition? Science cannot explain, reason nor is even willing to investigate. The metaphysic, psi and multi-dimensional folks are interested, investigate and note it is possible. Using concepts such as “quantum jumping,” accessing the “Akashic record,” or other dimensions of an infinite self. It is only recently in the past 5-10 years the study of techniques and skills have come out of the meditative cave. And only in the past few years folks became willing to be teachers. Recently, science is tiptoeing into the discussion via quantum physics and metaphysics have “fuzzed” together conceptually in an overlapping area of a Venn diagram. Perhaps it is because of the perceived “poly crisis” that forces an anxiety ridden discussion of how to survive our planetary existence? Adapt, die, survive or thrive?
An Echo of Renaissance
Renaissance is an aspect of an echo or cycle. A pattern of ending and beginning, what is dying and birthing? Have been in a process of the emerging ego that has been narrowly focused on the ego and search for the existential individual self. What if we expand the renaissance to include unity consciousness and planetary consciousness? There have been adventures in group-unity tripping. The prime example is the amoebic tripping, i.e., of a group of folks coalescing into a simple single-cell organism in rhythmically pulsing to the Grateful Dead. Or the self-organizing collectives, e.g., Rainbow Gathering that created villages in the forest with rainbow canopies. Civil rights movements, women rights, the rise of the corporate entities, the fear of that AI will rise, etc. Maybe this an old man’s waxing nostalgic for the Arthurian tales of Camelot. Lost to the mist of time in a few generations. Only to be replaced by the tales of the next generation. The point is that we have “now” the opportunity to influence our future… as we have always had. And now (as always) is the to claim the sovereignty of who we are and subsequently what we shall be… by being the future we wish to be. We pass this knowledge via opportunities of experience to our children.
Pandora’s Box
The 60s and 70s let the cat out of the bag. Pandora’s box opened the realization of our ability to live the dream into reality. Most view the opening of Pandora’s box as a nightmare. In opening the box, it was also the revelation that we, you and I can create reality. Of course, this is the dream master’s worst nightmare. Back in the day, Lincoln, Kennedy, and King were assassinated for stepping out of the dream master’s matrix.
We are now a witness to things that were unimaginable 40 years ago. Things like cell phones, streaming movies, cliff jumping in squirrel suits, launching paragliders to soar like eagles; the list is endless. But have we dared to dream and have become our own dream masters? What would we dream now that we understand how to dream? Would we dream of colonizing the moon, Mars and beyond? Would we dare to dive into the depths of our being… what would we find? What could we do? What would we do?
Of course, I am just wondering. But I believe this is an endeavor worthy of our pursuit regardless of the future. This is because the future is what we make of it. We have discovered we are each our own sovereign dream master. By being, “be here now” is the moment of creation. The moment where the past and future merge, and reality is birthed. We are no longer a product of our past nor the potential of the future. But we are what we choose… to be.
By choosing our story (narrative) we choose our timeline, dimension or reality. Often portrayed in “world events.” Whether psy-black-ops of mercenary control missions presuming there is some war. The control dream masters’ slight-of-hand is that of the definition of the problem, i.e., war… (of all kinds, e.g., terror, epidemics, WMDs, drugs, economic, etc.) and the proposed solution is more war. Can we see the insanity at all levels? Even in the new age, woo, metaphysical realms evidenced by light versus dark, the need for “white light bubbles of protection” rituals, etc. Whether in politics, environmental and planetary resources, population, social family issues and movies of war and/or the current fascination of futuristic savior avatars. Again, it is not a matter of what happens, but of how we define the issue and thus our response. What if we define issues as opportunities instead of problems. As opportunities to change. Would we respond with fear or love?
Ask Your Children
Have we forgotten to ask our children “what are their dreams?” Often, we don’t give enough attention to the dreams of children. When was the last time that you asked a child, “what are your dreams?” Have we made the space and time to sit and listen to them? Perhaps their dreams are the seeds they have brought. Are they the seed bearers that plant seeds of a new reality? Why did they choose you/I/us, at this time, and for what reason? Are we the soil in which they plant their seeds that will later emerge and bear fruit in a later future time when we are the seed bearers?
It is relatively easy to teach our children to manifest their dreams. First by firing up their imagination and creativity by stories of riding dragons, talking with centaurs, instantly being in faraway galaxies in different times. Pointing out how things change, e.g., gardening, caterpillars to butterflies, eggs to tadpoles to frogs that lay eggs, etc. Showing them the mechanics and logistical processes of building things to enhance life. Showing them how to feel, communicate and relate via our relationships… how to disagree, listen, forgive, negotiate, navigate, to be compassionate and graceful, etc.
Are we coming into the opportunity to experience and learn together about the psi world, and they help us be in the psi world? How about core classes and assignments in the subjects of sovereignty, integrity, compassion, grace, and empathy? Discovering your passions and joys, communication and relationship skills, learning to whisper with your pets, tree hugging 101, communicating with plants, enhancing the frequency of water, etc.
What if we encourage, teach and mentor children? What shall we teach them? We could design schools of sharing, e.g., salon style discussions, demonstrations and workshops. An opportunity for children to show and teach us to go beyond our dreams. What would happen? How would we respond? Our children are our future legacy and will take us far beyond our wildest dreams.
What are your children’s dreams?
Blessing,
Tim