Psychedelics Out of the Closet

Thanks to Lex Fridman, Rick Doblin, Roland Griffiths, Matthew Johnson, Jordan Peterson, Brian Muraresku and et al.

Thanks for the great discussions. It is heartwarming folks are willing to pursue psychedelic research and give nod to the ontological (mysticism and the nature of being) perspectives. I burst out laughing about the memes, John Allegro and the Harvard Divinity project during the interviews (links at the end). It is fascinating; the breadth and depth of academic interest which have emerged.

Back in the mid 70’s-early 80’s, during the 200+ lsd and mushroom adventures, often at significant doses. It has been 40 years since my last use and have moved on to other adventures. The past few weeks dove into the rabbit hole to catch up. I’ve been barely aware of the resurgence of psychedelics. I’m not a psychedelic enthusiast despite my experiences. There are two sides to the razor’s edge. Definitely life-changing adventures that 40 years later continue to provide insights. It was crazy to ended up with a 35+ year career in public mental health (MH).  The experiences in MH made me aware there are potential and real dangers, pit falls and tragic results of psychedelics use.


The following are some thoughts written about 20 years ago.

About 60-70 years ago, there was a confluence of separate streams have formed a river. Buddhism came to the West and resulting in the practice of mindfulness becoming part of our accepted psychological mindscape. Restricted Environmental Stimulation Technique (REST) or flotation tanks were developed in 1950’s, became popular in the 1980’s (and have come back in the past 10 years). In the 1960-70’s there were a small group of folks tripping, meditating and exploring consciousness which morphed into new agers, transpersonal psychology and a cultural drive to push the boundaries of consciousness. Along the way, a descriptive topology of a spectrum of consciousness, re-discovery of the comparative study of mystic traditions (Ken Wilber). The body of anecdotal stories met with fear and fascination are being replaced with inquisitive interest. Currently, micro dosing is used for creativity, performance enhancement, treatment for various stress malaise and as a general tonic for living well. There is academic and empirical research using psychedelics to treat anxiety of terminally ill, PTSD, depression and addictions. Research and therapy are trying to formulate an integrative protocol for investigation and its application of this confluence to meet the challenges of our world?

The initial wave during the 1950’s of psychedelics, Buddhism, REST, transpersonal psychology and meditation was met with fear, fascination and wtf. Yet a deeper investigation, a person could find references in obscure texts. The current wave of interest suggests that given some cogent synthesis, there is the opportunity to formulate an application to mitigate suffering while also discovering a path to well-being, the betterment of the planet and while dancing amongst the diamonds in the buddha fields.

A Personal experience:

Retrospectively, I was an adolescent immersed in the “dazed and confused” 1970’s. There was a curious and undisciplined interest in consciousness and psychology. My father, a rural pastor, encouraged exploration of religion, beliefs, prayer, meditation, hypnosis, psychic events and consciousness. Being a few years too young and in the middle of the Great Plains to catch the hippy, peace and anti-war movements. I stumbled into the “counter culture” of the Grateful Dead, Rainbow Gatherings, checking out various gurus, Sufi workshops, Lakota sweat lodges, Hinduism, Buddhism and meditation. During the mid-70’s to early 80’s I conservatively had 200+ psychedelic adventures. First, it was mostly LSD, a smattering of peyote and mescaline. Later, the majority was home-grown psilocybin mushrooms. These adventures became very familiar with their profile, ebb and flow patterns, fantastical psych-scape and ego dissolution followed by re-integration/re-constitution. Metaphorically a death and rebirth process.

Around 1981, at age 22, I had my first experience of a flotation tank. Of course, had the bright idea to ingest a shamanic amount of dried psilocybin mushrooms and jump in the tank for 3 hours. The first part of the experience was adjusting to the novel environment and getting physically relaxed. Next was noticing various emotional knots/tensions bubbling up to awareness; attending or focusing on these knots and then releasing. At the ego-body level, there was a calm detachment from the body. Being released from bodily constraints, it was easy to do cartwheels in space and zip around the universe by mere thought. It was child’s play to use vipassana meditation to visualize balls of light, go into the light and become light. There was the realization that beliefs, values and personality were merely layers of masks/personalities accoutrements (onion metaphor) that are used relative to one’s embedded cultural existence. That underlying this, is a perennial structure or the fractal archetype of experience. After peeling off the layers of the onion, I was naked consciousness; just being. At this level, consciousness is a transformer of energy. Energy/frequency is taken in; and then could be transformed or changed to a different energy/frequency pattern via conscious intent. Then this different energy/frequency could be directed or radiated out. This was very simple yet profound. At a subtle level (Ken Wilber), consciousness is the transcendent witness to our experiences. Subsequently, experience is merely a projection and reflection of consciousness (Buddhist mirror metaphor). These concepts and understandings were familiar because of my pedestrian study of Tibetan Buddhism. But it was not until later, that I could more articulate this experience.

Next was the investigation of Jungian archetypes, like father, son, warrior, androgyny, etc. When focusing on the mother archetype, I immediately found myself back in the womb. It was a warm, blissful, oceanic immersive loving existence. This experience was qualitatively different. It was a profoundly deep emotive quality. The experience was reconnecting with my birth mother. The experience of being in the womb led to an emergence of remembrance that “there was someone that loved me and I reconnected or emotively remembered the experience of being loved.” This deep reconnection was quite significant because I was orphaned twice according to my scant adoptive records. During the first adoption, something happened and returned to the orphanage in Korea. Then adopted a second time to rural Nebraska, all apparently within the first year of my life. My adoptive parents noted and my recollections of childhood; I was aloof, independent, self-contained and self-sufficient. I struggled against being held or helped and was emotionally detached. Yet apparently a relatively happy, curious, always on the go and doing what I wanted. This core character and personality continued into my 20’s. Resulted in being impetuous with calculated recklessness and was quite full of myself; bordering on sociopathic.

This womb experience was quite unlike other trips, where fantastical things occurred, such as sitting under a tree; and had the vision of the spinal cord was the trunk, roots extending into the ground, sap was the kundalini and the brain’s hemispheres were like the canopy of the tree. Or experiencing the moment of conception and moving through the embryonic development via DNA type memory (Stanislav Grof). That reflected DNA/spinal development of ranging from stages of an embryo to fish, reptile, bird, mammal to a human. And this depended on how long of a tail we had. However, this womb experience was deep and life changing. Being very intrigued by this experience, I had to investigate what the hell happened. I eventually stumbled across Stanislav Grof’s “Realms of the Human Unconscious.” Grof’s work seemed to fit well with Ken Wilber’s typology of consciousness as outlined in his articles I had found a few years earlier in the “Journals of Transpersonal Psychology” and his subsequent books. It took about two years of processing to come to a reasonable understanding of this 3-hour cruise on the high seas of the flotation tank. During which I became less detached and more involved in the world. Moving from narcissistic and sociopathic tendencies to developing empathy, willingness to relate with others and be engaged for the benefit of others, instead of merely for myself.

Toward the end of these two years of processing, I inadvertently stumbled across a job at the state mental hospital. Initially, as a psych tech; later a day treatment group leader and community case manager. Eventually, getting a master’s degree in counseling psychology that involved research in the effects of dry flotation REST and hypnotic susceptibility. Then followed by 37 years in public mental health with 25 years specializing in crisis mental health, conducting involuntary evaluations, providing emergency department and family MH consultations and an occasional training presentation or workshop to other professionals.

Great story, so what?

Conceptually, the cogent approach is as follows: The foundational context or back drop is to use Wilber’s topology of consciousness as a reference in which to classify the descriptions and progressions of experiences from the ego toward transcendence. Grof’s concept of “condensed experience” (COEX) is useful to view discrete experiences as pockets of experience that “collapse” instead of the normal linear progression of an experience. The COEX concept might be valuable in the treatment of PTSD, anxiety and depression. John C. Lily’s design offers the idea that the use of the REST/flotation tank as primarily an introspective laboratory environment to investigate the mind, body and consciousness. The tank environment attenuates outside influences; it allows improved focus and attention upon the self and the realization that there is only the core self and its experiences. It also, supports a mindfulness posture that enhances the potential for insight and to distinguish between what we have identified as our ego-centric self and its experiences. In my experience, the laboratory technique for this introspective investigation was vipassana meditation. Vipassana basically uses awareness (initially watching the breath) as a method for first developing the skill of focusing/concentrated, one pointed/mind attention. The second mode of vipassana to maintain an equanimous observational posture of mindful non-judgment or non-attachment that leads to insight. This mindfulness results in the opportunity for attentional focus to observe the blossoming of insight. It is basically understanding or recognizing patterns of experience. Finally, psychedelics acts as a catalyst or “key” to unlock consciousness in order to go beyond the ego-centric/body-confined sense of self. This reveals a glimpse of the transcendent awareness of unity and inter-connectedness. Maybe an opportunity for an individual to recognize that life is but a brief opportunity for existential meaning and purpose of experience.

Forty years later: Did I become enlightened? Yes, forty years ago, so I thought; but forty years later, nope. It was just a step on the path. It was my discovery of consciousness that occurred in the gap of change. Moving from an identification with my body contained ego to knowing/experiencing my SELF both beyond the body and ego. The question becomes, “so what?” What are you going to do with this knowledge or experience? What are you going to do, when, where and how?

At a fundamental level, psychology is about pattern recognition. A toddler learns a dog is different than a cat via pattern recognition. For therapists, it is about helping and orienting a person beyond their sticky patterns that are limiting them and to move on toward more life enhancing patterns. At another level it is recognizing there are perennial/fractal archetypical patterns of and for change, e.g., gardening metaphor.

Often people have very little idea of how to change. Seemingly there is an inability to articulate or formulate a change or growth process. Gardening is a readily accessible and intuitive metaphor that symbolizes the patterns of change. It is the idea that people change in cycles and seasons and that gardening is an elegant metaphor for growth. At the foundation, “we are the gardener of our soul.” We are the garden, the gardener and the tomato plant in the garden. Furthermore, each season requires a different task. The spring is about planning and preparation, summer is working and growing the garden, in the fall we harvest the fruit of our labor. However, the winter is the gap where the symbolic process of death and rebirth, i.e., change. Often in crisis, a person often feels lonely, depressed, confused, anxious and overwhelmed; it is winter. Reframing these feelings as a natural part of winter. Winter is a process of initially evaluation and learning lessons. Followed by letting go of the old (dying). Then discovering your perennial source of renewal. Once renewed and then searching and discovering the seed of your new self that has germinated. It is an introspective process of evaluation, touching our soul, discovering and imagining new you and the subsequent cycle of growth. The re-orienting or reframing change as gardening acknowledges growth is a repeating process that has a spectrum of applications. Once a person experiences and understands the fractal or cycles of gardening. It becomes a sustaining and perennial process/pattern. Furthermore, this can lead toward a co-creative, positive ecological perennial psychology (symbolic ethos of eco-psychology that incorporates that has both life, death, renewal and transcendence).

A note to the idea of ritual, society and culture. As noted above perhaps the 1950’s was the conception of the witch’s brew? Everything from avant garde jazz, art, poetry, Eastern religion, metaphysics, meditation, psychedelics, flotation tanks, etc. that were an attempt to go beyond the staid parameters of the industrial revolution. My experience was that in the 1970’s (the second generation), psychedelics was the catalyst for an embryonic amorphous (wiggling) movement. The tribal ritual surrounded the sacrament of a relatively small tribe of people getting on the bus. My experience was primarily with the deadheads and the rainbow tribe. In a sense. Rainbow Gatherings and Grateful Dead shows were the cultural rituals of Dionysus of the time.

Perhaps Grateful Dead shows and Rainbow Gatherings were an intuitive search for Dionysian ritual. For those interested in cultural anthropology, it might be interesting to use the lens of tent revivals and church rituals overlaid on the Grateful Dead shows and Rainbow Gatherings. My experience of the attending 40+ Grateful Dead shows were vaguely similar to my experiences of being a preacher’s kid and going to church. Many times folks fervent and acting much like enthusiastic parishioners at a tent revival. Praying for a miracle, singing, dancing, etc. (Side note: At Dead shows saw folks doing spontaneous yogic postures and tantric like dances. And in psychiatric units, I would occasionally witness a catatonic like yogic postures and mudras, but these were not intentioned nor fluid.) It would be interesting to look at the set-list of Grateful Dead shows and do a comparative analysis of the motif or patterns of church, gospel tent revivals, delta blues compared to the small (under 10k attendees) of the Dead shows of the 1970’s. It’s basically looking at ritual as if examining music appreciation or art history as reflection of culture/society.

Another interesting avenue of academic research based on experiential antidotes is investigating and comparing group trips. An example, at Rainbow Gatherings on 4th of July most everyone would gather in a large circle, have an hour of silence. During that hour of silence, without fail, rainbows would appear. Now with NASA research in to Schumann resonance frequencies, new conceptions of an electro-magnetic plasma universe and the stuff that like Gregg Braden, HeartMath, epigenetics and other folks. It seems we are researching the individual, social and cultural aspects and the applications of consciousness. Roland Griffiths alludes to getting some religious leaders dosed in a Harvard Divinity study. Other avenues are Rory Duff and his fascinating work of planetary energy lines and of Lynne McTaggart of working with subtle energy. Brian Muraresku has dove in to psychedelic use in the ancient cultural texts.  Brian brilliantly noted a reference to Joseph Campbell’s quote something about the meaning of life is really the experience of life. That the experience life gives meaning and in that experience we discover the purpose of our existence. In short, during the 1950’s to the 70’s was a convergence that led to opening our minds beyond the experience of the individual self. And now there is the 2nd convergence. We are recognizing the pattern, that we are in the soup of God/universe/source. That we are part of God/energy, God/energy is within us and we swim in the stew pot of God/energy. If we abide in this premise, then we can readily change our planetary reality by using conscious intention we can create (entangle) a different soup/reality. 

So ends a brief introduction that forms my basis in which to further jump in to a series of “conscious entanglement.” I’m considering doing this series mainly in video format with brief blog posts as introductions.

Warning/disclaimer: Do not use psychedelics on your own and without guidance from a professional or well-seasoned guide/shaman. I merely note my experience, in which I was young, dumb and very fortunate because it could have resulted otherwise horrific outcomes as I had occasion to witness during my MH career. The whole idea of ego death is not to be taken lightly. There were times of sheer terror, confusion and WTH is going on. There are many stories that without significant preparation and guidance it is a fool’s errand. It was in a different time, a different cultural space and perhaps a different yuga. There is absolutely no reasonable assurance of positive results without ardent preparation, seasoned guidance and a deep desire to know one’s self. The tools of introspection involves learning to face, accept and work with your shadow or dark side of the self.

In my professional career, I have witnessed tragic and horrific cases involving the mis-use and recreational use of psychedelic drugs that have led to psychotic episodes, first break schizophrenia, making bipolar conditions worse, incarceration and such. I am not a psychedelic enthusiast and my last use was over 40 years ago. There are safer and effective alternatives, such as meditation, hypnosis, flotation and breath work. Retrospectively, it is fascinating that 40, 50, 60 years ago there was the wanderlust of the paisley kaleidoscope. Psychedelics were just dawning upon the consciousness of a tiny number of individuals. And now the psychedelic micro dosing is being touted as a general tonic, enhancing creativity, increasing performance and to treat malaise for those that dare venture. We are in a different time and space? A new yuga ushered in by Aquarius? Perhaps we are ready to step into a logical and consistent investigation that goes beyond our Dionysian initiation. I wonder if we can step into coherent application of conscious entanglement? I wonder if psychedelics with intentioned group meditation/consciousness will enable us to work on healing ourselves and the planet and to venture beyond time and space? Perhaps we can turn-on and tune-in a peaceful planet.  I wonder if “Conscious Entanglement” is the new convergence? The perennial challenge is “so what?” What is our part in this ocean of light? Waves of light are crashing on to the planet…surfs up!

Peace, love and light!


4/23/2022, updated 4/8/2023

Below are a few rabbit holes if you want to dive in.

Lex Fridman and Rick Doblin

Rick Doblin: Psychedelics | Lex Fridman Podcast #202 – YouTube

Jordan Peterson and Roland Griffiths

The Psychology of Psychedelics | Roland Griffiths – Jordan B Peterson Podcast – S4 E20 – YouTube

Heather Ensworth and Rory Duff

Interview with Rory Duff: Earth’s Energy Lines, Universal Consciousness and Moving into a New World – YouTube

Lee Carroll and Lynne McTaggart

Published by Love Change Grow LLC

Counselor and crisis consultant of 25 years. Providing education about how to navigate change.

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